Merry Christmas

Bad Santa

I would like to wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year and take the opportunity to pose for you in my sexy red underwear. Thanks for letting me be so naughty...

All tied up at the moment

Hi, it´s me again. Your favorite cross dressing queer submissive pinup girl. Sorry for not posting for so long, but things are hectic. But i always find some time to play. And i´ve found myself some new very nice toys. In fact, i made one of the toys myself. I saw some very nice things in a shop and  got an idea. I purchased a necklace with a metal ring and a chain, and then i made this  piece of jewelry. The necklace goes over the hips, the chain goes between the buttocks and ring in front goes behind  the balls and penis. It´s a lovely item to wear under the panties. The feeling of the chain excites me. In fact, it´s nearly too exciting, i have twice soiled my panties just by wearing it. So i have to stop myself from wearing it for a full day.

The good thing is that the metal is easy to keep clean, i just wash it with soap and apply some disinfectant in the evening. But i would not advice anyone who is not completely shaved to try this. Even very short hairs get stuck in the chain, so i have to shave three or four times a week now.

I have also got myself some very useful patent leather ropes. I sometimes tie my knees together when i´m home and it feels so good to only be able to take very short steps. I also enjoy lying in bed tied up for hours when i have the time. And it also makes for exciting pics, you know how much i like to pose.

I made a litte film showing you my new toys. I must say that it makes feel so wonderfully slutty to know that you will watch me in this situation. 

XXX, Lacey

Two months...

I love saturdays. It´s the only day when i have the time to dress slowly and take some pics of myself in my lovely underwear. On weekdays i just attach my stockings  and run.

 New camisole from Marks & Spencer

My favourite knickers and suspender belt, Cleopatra.

Last month i wrote about chastity. I really enjoy it. I haven't had my hand inside my panties for two months now and i only allow myself come when i use my fingertips and two days ago i had an orgasm just by having a dildo inside me. It´s very fascinating to find so many new ways to get pleasure (well, new to me anyway).

I checked on some older notes, and discovered that tomorrow is my three years anniversary for shaving.
Today, i could not stand having hairy legs. It makes me feel so feminine to be hairless.

XXX,
Lacey

Chastity

As you already know, i have for some years been on a long and interesting journey to explore my sexual identity. And as i progress, things are getting even more interesting. During this time, getting sexual stimulation in a traditional male manner by masturbation has become less important. The need for, in lack of a nicer words, a quick wank, has given way to other forms of achieving pleasure. One is of course my exhibitionism*. Another can be called receiving. There is a very deep pleasure of licking and sucking a dildo for ten minutes. I found out that my tongue and lips are very strong erogeneous zones. Another thing was finding out that i enjoyed taking it up the rear. But pleasing myself in the ass is very different from what i ever experienced before. First of all, i have to be totally relaxed. Secondly, it takes a lot of time. And it can be a little messy afterwards, especially since a lot of lube is needed** Having a dildo inside is a very passive sexual activity. I have only experienced climax once while doing this, but it was highly enjoyable and i was not even hard. And i behave very different. I moan, breathe heavily and convulse. I give up control and give in to sexual extasy. I also quite enjoy just having the dildo between my thighs and buttocks, just enjoying the feeling.  And then i can also keep my panties on. 

 But as i said earlier, the actual orgasm is not that important anymore. I only ejaculate about once a week. I have tried to do without ejaculation for 14 days and it was quite fun. The important thing is not to allow oneself to put the hand inside the panties, and only use the fingertips for stroking. And like when i use a dildo the feeling is very different from what i experienced before. A deeper lust and a feeling of satisfaction even without having reached a climax. The excitement doesn't  stop suddenly, it slowly fades and stays in the background until it builds up again.

I have now stayed away from masturbation since the 8 of august. I still do all the other nice things, the only thing i will not do is to touch my penis in the conventional way. It's of course possible to achieve ejaculation just by stroking with the fingertips on the outside of the panties, and i have soiled my knickers and suspenderbelt a few times. But those orgasms tend to be longer, more like a wave than a burst and if i have the time i prefer to lie and enjoy the wetness and spread the sperm on my thighs and in my groin. I love to be wet.

I know that all these ingredients are usually seen as a part of a sissyfication process. Well, that makes no difference to me. I see them all as new ways to enjoy my sexuality. It's a real turn on to venture into a female sexual identity. The fact that i do this alone does not bother me. I think going this far would have taken much longer time if i had a partner even with a sympathethic one who dared to experiment.

By the way, i have been wanting a swimsuit for many years. One of the things that i really want to do is to go to a quiet lake and take a swim in a swimsuit. We'll, this summer i had the time and opportunity, but not the swimsuit. So i decided to take advantage of the late summer sales and get me one so I can be prepared for next summer. The swimsuit fits perfectly and the high cut legs show off my shave. Water is still warm...

XXX,

Lacey

Notes:

* posing, taking photos, editing pictures and then posting on the blog is very exciting but takes a lot of time. If i give myself quick satisfaction i cannot do the rest properly.

**if for no other reason, the sanitary pad in the panties is essential after i´ve fucked myself. A lot of lube trickles out afterwards.

For your pleasure

For this post i don't really have much to say. So i just decided to show you some of "pics of the day" from the last months.

I love the fabric in these panties. But they are a little bit low-cut and don't
have much control. The suspender belt is spanish brand Cleopatra, one of the best I've worn and i have several colors

 These burgundy colored knickers are an old favorite of mine. Together with a matching suspender belt they are really nice. To bad the black lace is ripped.

Quite a new purchase.  8-strap suspender belt and panties with black lace over red. So sexy to wear and to look at. And to touch!

Purple feels so feminine, especially together with white.  These are also very soft and stretchy and i like to feel them against my bum. Stockings look like Transparenze, but I'm not sure.

 These are very high cut and have a a lot of control with a see-through fabric in the back and lots of clever seams to shape the bum nicely. They also have double layers in the front, which i like very much. The stockings are Transparence Sara Logo, i really recommend those.

I love the red with black dots, the fabric, the lace bands and the cute bow. But these are really too low cut in the front. Stockings are Charnos 24-7, really nice.

These are very comfy to wear all day and together with a suspender belt from Cleopatra they look really good. Stockings are from Jonathan Ashton in a lovely color. Pity you can't see the black seams.

You know i have to show you at least one picture of my back in every post... My old old control body that still survives, together with a pair of full cut  knickers. I love to wear this outfit.

I don´t have that much to say right now, only that i have found the software to edit pictures, texts and blogposts on my iPad so i don't have to rely on my desktop Mac, which should give me the opportunity to be more productive. And i have also decided to play a little game with myself. For the next four weeks i will not put my hand inside my panties, only stroke on the outside with my fingertips or an open hand. I have tried this, and it gives a lot of pleasure, but in a very different, feminine way. I´ll let you know how it proceeds.

XXX,
Lacey.

Shame shame shame...

When i started this blog i was prepared to receive some abusive comments and hatemail, but the few comments i get tend to be positive and i only have to edit out the automated spamming that swamps every blogger. And the emails i get comes from likeminded persons who tell me about similar experiences. I'm very grateful for those mails. But last week i had an email from a person who wrote that i should be ashamed and that i was miserable. I of course replied that i didn't feel any shame and, no, i was not miserable. I quickly added the adress to my junkmaillist. The sender had earlier expressed his appreciation of this blog, so had either become struck with feelings of guilt, had his account hijacked or someone else had read his emails, been repulsed and sent me that abusive letter.
It doesn't matter. Like i stated earlier i can deal with that kind of behaviour. And since the subject is out, let me tell you why i won't feel ashamed. Like all persons i've done things that makes me feel ashamed. I've done stupid things and behaved badly many times in my life, hurt people i care about, regretted taking wrong decisions, treated people poorly who didn' t deserve it. Those things make me feel bad. But there is absolutely no way i can feel ashamed of accepting myself as i am and sharing my experiences of exploring deeper into the kind of sexual identity i have. My posing in lingerie hurts no one. Some could probably argue that i hurt myself by acting in an unnatural way or being in danger of burning in hell for eternity.

Well first i don't believe that there is a "natural" way of sexual behaviour. Sexuality and reproduction are two very different things and should not be confused. In fact, reproduction by male/female mating can be very pleasant, but i think sexuality is much bigger than reproduction (the Pope disagrees with me on this one). Every person has a different sexual identity. Most of the time it 's easy to broadly classify a sexual identity as hetero, homo, BDSM,TF, queer or such (some people can only accept hetero as being the correct way, but i have already dismissed those persons).

But when we start to look at the individuals inside these labels we find that there is a lot of differences. Take for example a straight male person who has had a lot of female partners during the years. if you can get him to tell about his experiences with girls the pattern starts to widen. He will tell you about one girl who enjoyed giving oral sex and another who only wanted to receive oral sex, another who always wore sexy underwear and another who never wore anything but plain cottonpanties but wanted to have sex constantly and in as many positions as possible. And if we take into consideration the homosexual community i know fags who would never be taken in the rear but love to put their penis in a mans arse, and those who grow moustaches and wear leather and female homosexuals who like to penetrate their girlfriends with plastic dildoes while wearing the most feminine attire. Let's not go in to the subject of BDSM, because there are so many variations i could not keep track of them ( but they really seem to be enjoying themselves). And for my own pet perversion, Transvestic Fetishism, the individual variations continue. Some like to snatch panties from their neighbours washingline, some claim they are straight, some claim they have a female sexual identity when dressed, some only go for the underwear but some enjoy full dress. For myself, posing in lingerie for you is an important part of my sexual identity

Nature duped us into reproduction by hijacking sexuality. As i said earlier, male / female reproduction can be a very nice experience. But it's not the whole picture of sexuality. Each sexual identity is different, and when we have a partner we seek out the different aspects of our sexuality that matches and enjoy them. It 's really like a trade. " you like this, i like that, we both enjoy that particular action, so let's fuck!"

I really can not come to another conclusion than that the variety of sexual identities are so common in humanity that variation is the natural thing.

And after dismissing the subject of there existing a natural way of sexuality i will adress the the subject of hurting anybody. Well, as i mentioned above some of the things that i regret most in my life is when i have hurt other people. But my lingerie doesn't hurt anybody. If you are a returning reader of this blog you will know how i have taken care of the issues of being exposed as a pantywearer when they have happened close to me. I would never use my sexuality to discomfort anyone. But this is a tight line to walk. While i demand acceptance for my own sexuality from those who know and ask them to judge me by my other actions i will not flaunt my sexual personality in their face. I like to be nice and respect other persons identity and to be treated the same. As long as no harm is done anyone can do whatever they want sexually in my opinion. One could argue that my sexual identity could be harmful to me because bigoted persons could inflict verbal or physical abuse on me. That´s true, but the problem lies with narrow-minded people, not with me so there is no reason to stop wearing. And i have no plans of traveling to Uganda.

Anyone who gets offended by the images or words on this blog could easily have avoided it by staying away.

On the other hand, if you have read this long you must be genuinely interested and not afraid of facing your own demons.

Thanks, i appreciate that you read but i sincerely think that like Playboy the real treat lies with the pictures, not the editorial content.

Personality Crisis

It might be argued that being a middle aged male who enjoys wearing and posing in stockings and suspenders is not normal. No, it´s not normal. In fact, it´s very far from society´s norm about which sexual roles we should assume. Even in modern western societies which have a liberal view towards same sex marriages, same sex adoptions and sex change operations the idea that someone might like to use the other genders garments for pure fun and sexual gratification is a hard one to fathom, even for the Sexual Rights Organizations* (it´s more easy to them to embrace a person who suffers than someone who simply has fun).   In fact, in some places of the world this blog could be an offense that could lead to prison, or worse, death penalty. 

So even if my sexual identity is something that i can´t openly acknowledge  i´m grateful. Grateful not to be living in Nigeria for example. Or grateful that the Health Authorities in my country don´t see my condition as an mental illness. And that i have the resources to buy my underwear, photograph myself in in it and have the means to publish my thoughts and pictures for everyone to see.

But there´s one more thing i´m grateful for: I feel so fine. In fact, i´m the only person i know who's happy. All around me, friends and family have problems. Depressions, Bi-polar disorder, alcoholism, drugabuse, burnedout-ness, sexual problems, marital quarrels, violent abuse etc. Of course, i had my share of problems too. It´s just some of those things you have to deal with.  But quite often it feels like 

i´m the only sane person around, and i´m the guy who wears lace panties.  Maybe my opportunity to express myself has something to do with it.

I  don´t wan´t to give the impression that everything is solved by putting on a suspenderbelt and nylons** but i sincerely think that if you accept yourself as you are and if you give in to your sexual identity you´ll find it much easier to cope with life. Even if i have to wear socks to hide my stockings.

* Yes, the Sexual Rights Organizations have had problems since the start incorporating males just wanting to wear ladies dresses, but since when BDSM-people have made their voices heard it has started to loosen up. And it´s getting better, as more persons with a perspective of queer,  nonsexual, polyamourous etc are getting into the debate.

** It is my sincere option that regardless of gender and sexual identity, anyone who get to wear a suspender belt  and stockings will get a kick out of it. Anyone who says something contrary is lying.

Peepshow

As i mentioned yesterday, i´m currently editing and sorting some of my older pictures. These were originally posted on a forum where i don´t contribute anymore, so i figured a republishing was OK because they´re really good. It´s like a peepshow. So if you´re not already wearing some nice garments, go put them on and watch me pose for you...

In the last pic i´m in front of my computer. This is what it looks like when i write this blog. XXX, Lacey

White in the summer

Can you think of a better way to spend the summer than sitting at your computer editing old pictures? These pics are from last summer, i didn´t have the time to check them out until now.

White underwear is usually a bummer to photograph, but these good. I think it´s the natural sunlight that makes the white so shiny. Please enjoy!