I found out that there are few facts available on the subject on Transvestic-Fetischism on the internet. This is not meant to be a scientific text, instead i wanted to tell how it is to have this sexual orientation. This text might also be of use to students.
Introduction.
First, lets start with the definition: Transvestic Fetischism or Transvestism-Fetischism (in this text referred to as TF) is a condition when a person experiences sexual pleasure from dressing in the clothes of the other gender. This mostly applies to males, and often it´s the underwear that is most exciting but other female specific items also have this effect (sanitary pads, cosmetics, shoes etc). TF is a Paraphilia. which means that it´s a condition involving sex fetishes where a person's sexual arousal and gratification depend on fantasizing about, and engaging in, sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme. The World Health Organization lists TF as a mental illness in International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems.
But...
The national health authorities in Sweden, Norway and Finland has recently removed TF from the national list of illnesses. The Swedish National Bord of Health and Welfare wrote:
“The revision was done because these psychiatric diagnoses “may contribute to preserve and reinforce prejudices in society, which in turn increases the risk of social stigmatizing of individuals”.
In Norway, the head of the Directorate of Health , Bjørn-Inge Larsen , said: “There is no basis, neither within today's social norms nor within health political thinking, for labeling several of these phenomena as illnesses”.
Some TF do dress in full female attire but most only use underwear. TF differs from Transvestism/crossdressing where the person wants to emulate the other sex, and it differs from Transsexualism/ GID. Please check the other descriptions elsewhere because im not qualified to explain and don´t wish to spread misconceptions about other peoples sexual/gender orientation. In this text i will contrate on male TF, as it is what i have experience of. This is not meant to say that female TF does not exist, but there is very little known about this. Any person with experience of female TF might contact me and i´ll be happy to add to this text.
Most TF claims to be heterosexual, but bisexual and gay TF also exists. Many TF say that when dressed they assume a female sexual role. Also some TF like to be treated as “Sissys”, which is when a male person gets dressed up in female clothing and gets dominated by a female, often with roleplay and anal penetration done by a strap on dildo.
Most TF does not consider it humiliating to wear female underwear and are instead very happy to dress feminine. Many TF are very confident in their everyday male role and say that they enjoy slipping into a different role or just like to have a secret identity. The attraction of breaking a taboo also add to the excitement.
And to confuse things up, there are some who qualifies as all of the above.
About me
So i will concentrate on myself. I am a middleaged man living in a European city. I´m divorced and have children.
Since i was a kid i have known that i like to dress in ladies underwear. I remember putting Barbies swimsuit on my Action Man and then putting his uniform on top and getting excited about it. I also remember when me and my brother were given a pile of old clothes to use for costumeplay to dress up as pirates or such. Among these clothes were a pair of dark blue frilly grannypanties and a white suspendergirdle that i fancied. As i reached puberty i started wearing my mothers underwear while masturbating. When looking at pornography i was more interested in lingerieclad models than naked ones (i still am!).
For a while, the excitement of having real sex with girls and finding out how to do it took over. And to add to my enjoyment some of them wore really nice undergarments! But i soon started to try on my girlfriends panties when they were not around. And when i got married, i used to wear my wifes panties, suspenderbelt and stockings when she was out of the house, and sometimes picking a pair of her knickers from the laundrybin in the morning to wear for work.
When me and my wife got divorced i managed to keep some of her panties, and i bought myself some holdup nylonstockings and pantyhoses. I soon realised that the Internet offered me the possibility to shop without physically walking into a store and started buying ladies underwear on the net. I felt very nervous going to the postoffice to pick up the parcel containing my first suspenderbelt, but the nervosity was soon replaced by happiness at wearing this lovely piece of garment. As my wardrobe expanded i started wearing my underwear for longer periods. I used to put on a pair of panties and masturbate and then immediately change back to male underwear, but i found that being dressed for longer time was what i really wanted. I started to use lingerie under my ordinary clothes, and found out that it felt really good. I decided to test for how long i would want to wear panties and after 22 days i decided that it was impractical to keep my lingerie in a cardboardbox hidden on the top shelf in a closet. My ladies undergarments went in my drawers and the boxershorts were transferred to the cardboardbox!
At the moment of writing (2010 08 28) i have been using ladies underwear everyday for three years. I have only put on male underwear for a few occasions like going to the beach.
I´m very happy about my sexual identity. It´s a joy to wear lacy shiny knickers and to attach the stockings to the suspenderclasps every morning. I dont think this is ever gonna change.
And for your information, i don´t go around and feel sexually aroused 24/7. It´s impossible, no one can. But i feel confident and beautiful.
Facts
If you are like me, you are very curious about facts on every subject that interests you. You want to know such facts as “How many?” and “ When?” and “How to?”. Here i will give you some facts about my TF.
Knickers/Panties
I own about 100 pairs of panties/knickers. Most are black and lacey, but i have all kinds of colours and makes, from thongs to long waist cinch panties. I prefer the more fullcut and like when there is a bit of control to them. The shapes, variety of cuts, materials and colours available in ladies knickers are so great. Even though my wardrobe is bursting i still like to shop for more.
Bras and Camisoles
My cupsize is 36B. That means that a bra is not necessary, and a bra can easily be detected under a shirt. So i only wear a bra in private, but i often wear a camisole under my clothes. I like the ones where there is a bit of tummy control and prefer the ones with wider shoulderstraps if a coworker or a friend decides to put a hand on my shoulder.
Nylonstockings
Few things are so erotically charged as nylonstockings. I wear stockings everyday.
I have several kinds of makes, designs and colours but mostly use black in different thicknesses. I avoid the really cheap ones, and for everyday use it´s impossible to use the more costly brands. I always have several unopened packets on hand to not be stranded without stockings. Fishnets look good in pictures but are fragile and uncomfortable so i only wear them when posing. Classic seamed non-stretch stockings are very nice, but must fit the leg perfectly to look good. I prefer stockings with a bit of stretch because they make my legs look better.
I also have some holdup-stockings but i prefer to use a suspenderbelt. Holdups are not reliable, they tend to slip down and if there is a wide silicone band on the welt they can be sweaty. But holdups with a suspenderbelt looks very good in pictures because the stockingtops stay straight and they are also good for using under a pair of thinner trousers where suspenderclasps could be seen through.
Tights/pantyhose
On colder days also enjoy being dressed in a pantyhose. It gives great shape to the bum and thighs. When i wear tights i always have a pair of panties under and one pair on top. This gives a good shape and stops the pantyhose from sliding down. One thing i particularly like about tights is that there are so many feminine colors available. Thicker tights in a woolblend are also very nice to wear in cold weather, much more comfortable than any item of male underwear i have ever tried.
Suspenderbelts
A good suspenderbelt is one of the greatest items of clothing ever. My latest inventory revealed that i own 18 suspenderbelts, all in fine condition. I enjoy how the suspenderbelt hugs my hips and like the way the elastic straps feels against my thigh. I feel very empowered and in control while wearing a suspenderbelt. I prefer deep 6-strap suspenderbelts with wide straps and metalclasps and adjusters. It also gives a good shape to the hips. I avoid cheap ones, they tend to be uncomfortable and the adjusters slip. It´s my opinion that cheap suspenderbelts are only made to be worn once for a hot date and then discarded. I still keep the first one i purchased and occasionally wear it, but i would really like to put it in a glass displaycase.
Nightwear
When possible, i wear a night gown or a slip to bed, but mostly i just wear a pair of panties under my pajamas. Sometimes i wear my stockings in bed.
Corsets, Basques, Bodies
I colder weather i like to wear a body under my shirt. I only wear corsets and basques when alone because the boning and wiring under the breastcups can easily be seen. If the garments has detachable suspenderstraps i remove them and use a suspenderbelt instead. I like the feeling of a boned corset hugging my body.
Shoes and other clothing
I have tried on skirts and dresses over the years, and i recently got me my first pair of stilettoheeled pumps. I just use them around the house and for pictures and try to learn to walk in them.
I think that i one time will dress fully in womens clothing, but i would not try to pass as a woman.
Secrecy, Identity and Exposure
Like most TF i keep my sexual orientation secret. Only a few persons know that i wear ladies underwear. My ex-wives reaction was “ i knew that you had worn an item of mine but couldn´t precise it, i´m glad you told me” and “ Why didn´t you tell me earlier? If it feels good, do it”.
I would like to be more open, but thats not possible. Most people wouldn´t want to know. But it would be very nice not to cover my stockings with socks or to be able wear a bra under a thin shirt. I take great care to edit pictures that i post on the Internet so no clues to my identity can be seen. I will not show my face in pictures and i blur out items of furniture.
Even though i´m comfortable as a male person my TF identity is Lacey. Lacey is just one aspect of the person that is me, like everybody else i behave differently in different company. Most people change when they are at the workplace, with their mates, on Internet forums, with their family or with a sportsteam. We all have different personalities that we keep changing all the time, but to express this part of me i have i have to be anonymous. I keep a separate Googleaccount for for Lacey.
I have of course been exposed a few times. This has mainly been due to laundry issues.
I´m glad that the few persons that have exposed me are persons whom i trust. I dont count being caught in airport security as being exposed as those persons were not interested in my personal life, they were more interested in safety.
Pads
I enjoy having a ladies sanitary pad in my panties. It feels safe and comforting and has a hint of humiliation, and i like to feel it against my crotch and buttocks.It is also a very feminine thing and it keeps the panties from being soiled. When i wear white panties i always use a pad or a pantyliner. I also like to sleep with a big nightpad in my panties. As i have been married i´m used to buying sanitary pads so this is not a big deal. I just pop them in my cart at the supermarket.
Travel
Earlier in my life, travel was an opportunity to wear ladies underwear at my hotelroom and to be able to sleep in a pair of panties. Now i don´t do anything special except bring a pair of boxershorts in my briefcase if an emergency should occur. For instance, once my luggage got lost while traveling to France and i did not fancy the idea of wearing the same panties and tights for a whole weekend. I always wear tights or holdups when flying because i don´t want to set off the alarms when walking through airportsecurity. I once made the mistake of walking out of the airport instead of going to the transitarea and had to go through security again. As this was in a non-EU country and my destination was in an EU country security was strict, and as my boardingcard showed that i should already have been in the transit lounge the security officers decided that they wanted to check me more. So i had the opportunity to show my pink panties and white tights to the officers. They did not seem to care that much once it had been established that i had no explosives in my underwear.
Posing
I enjoy posing and taking photographs of myself, and i also do some films. It gives me so much pleasure to look at my films and pictures and see how sexy and feminine i can look. I publish my films and pictures on my blog, and it thrills me to know that other people watch me. When doing a photoshoot or a film i feel like i´m expressing myself and my sexuality in a very satisfying way.
It is like a mixture of dragshow, burlesque, fetischism and exhibitionism. And of course i like to have comments. The first time someone commented on my pictures and said something like “You look fab” i had tears in my eyes. The fact that someone liked the way i looked in my underwear was a notion that never had occured to me. I knew that i felt beautiful and sexy, but never expected another person to think the same. That comment also gave me some responsibility. Now, when i publish something on my blog i take great care that the text, pictures and film should be good. There is no reason why persons with TF should have to put up with crap. Thats also why i seldom publish pictures on forumgalleries. The persons who like what i do know that they get quality, not quantity and they deserve the best. The fact that i pose for a male audience does not bother me.
Shopping
Like i mentioned before, i do my shopping on the Internet. In fact, the only thing i don´t use the Internet for is shopping for groceries so of course i should buy my lingerie online. But there is another reason. A lingerie store ( or your local supermarkets lingerie section) is a “womens zone”. A guy is tolerated for a few minutes, nervously searching for a garment for his partner and enquiring about the proper size. But a man shopping around, checking the garments for size, comparing fabrics and prices would be an intrusion. I don´t care about the shop assistants, it´s the customers i care about. Male sexuality is often used to affirm superiority over females, and i don´t want my underwear fetisch to reinforce this kind of action. To openly shop for underwear could be seen as abusive by female customers even if that´s not the intention.
One could argue that if the action is not meant to cause offense it would only be the prejudices of the customers that suffers, but i prefer to be nice. Internet shopping is also very much easier, but i would like to walk in to a lingeriesection of a supermarket and browse to see what takes my fancy without no one be bothered .
Conclusion
I hope the above will give you an insight on how it is to be a Transvestic Fetischist. I also call myself a sissy or a queer. My actions do no harm to others except maybe harm their prejudices ( and i take care not to harm those either).
The reasons why i choose to publish this text are two:
First, if you search this subject you mostly find psychiatric explanations of this, and many ideas of how to cure it. There is no (to my knowledge) first hand narrative of how it is to be TF. Pornsites and forums seems to avoid the term TF, instead using “guys in panties”, “ sissyboys” and such. I want to make the make the term TF positive. And if you ask me, i don´t wan´t to be cured and i don´t think it´s possible. I´m perfectly fine wearing my suspenderbelt, thank you.
Second: I wan´t other persons who are TF to identify. To know that there are others like you is one of the strongest feelings there is. Whatever shaped you to be TF there is no reason to be ashamed. You might not want to expose yourself to the public or cause your nearest grief, but there is nothing wrong with you, and your feelings on this subject will never change. Live with it, accept the joy and the complications it brings but never let someone else dictate who you should be.
For those of you who are interested in the subject, male or female, i pose some challenging questions for discussions.
- Is lace only sexy when worn by a lady, or is it an item of beauty on every person?
- Does a pair of woolblend tights feel more comfortable than a pair of Long Johns on a cold winter day? (you have to try this one for yourself otherwise it doesn´t count)
- Is there any reason why a practice that harms no other and gives pleasure should be declared an illness?
- Are there any reasons whatsoever to say that a man is wrong to wear ladies underwear?
- Should there ever be distinctions on what kind of clothes a man or a woman should wear or what sexual roles they choose?
XXX, Lacey.
