As you already know, i have for some years been on a long and interesting journey to explore my sexual identity. And as i progress, things are getting even more interesting. During this time, getting sexual stimulation in a traditional male manner by masturbation has become less important. The need for, in lack of a nicer words, a quick wank, has given way to other forms of achieving pleasure. One is of course my exhibitionism*. Another can be called receiving. There is a very deep pleasure of licking and sucking a dildo for ten minutes. I found out that my tongue and lips are very strong erogeneous zones. Another thing was finding out that i enjoyed taking it up the rear. But pleasing myself in the ass is very different from what i ever experienced before. First of all, i have to be totally relaxed. Secondly, it takes a lot of time. And it can be a little messy afterwards, especially since a lot of lube is needed** Having a dildo inside is a very passive sexual activity. I have only experienced climax once while doing this, but it was highly enjoyable and i was not even hard. And i behave very different. I moan, breathe heavily and convulse. I give up control and give in to sexual extasy. I also quite enjoy just having the dildo between my thighs and buttocks, just enjoying the feeling. And then i can also keep my panties on.
But as i said earlier, the actual orgasm is not that important anymore. I only ejaculate about once a week. I have tried to do without ejaculation for 14 days and it was quite fun. The important thing is not to allow oneself to put the hand inside the panties, and only use the fingertips for stroking. And like when i use a dildo the feeling is very different from what i experienced before. A deeper lust and a feeling of satisfaction even without having reached a climax. The excitement doesn't stop suddenly, it slowly fades and stays in the background until it builds up again.
I have now stayed away from masturbation since the 8 of august. I still do all the other nice things, the only thing i will not do is to touch my penis in the conventional way. It's of course possible to achieve ejaculation just by stroking with the fingertips on the outside of the panties, and i have soiled my knickers and suspenderbelt a few times. But those orgasms tend to be longer, more like a wave than a burst and if i have the time i prefer to lie and enjoy the wetness and spread the sperm on my thighs and in my groin. I love to be wet.
I know that all these ingredients are usually seen as a part of a sissyfication process. Well, that makes no difference to me. I see them all as new ways to enjoy my sexuality. It's a real turn on to venture into a female sexual identity. The fact that i do this alone does not bother me. I think going this far would have taken much longer time if i had a partner even with a sympathethic one who dared to experiment.
By the way, i have been wanting a swimsuit for many years. One of the things that i really want to do is to go to a quiet lake and take a swim in a swimsuit. We'll, this summer i had the time and opportunity, but not the swimsuit. So i decided to take advantage of the late summer sales and get me one so I can be prepared for next summer. The swimsuit fits perfectly and the high cut legs show off my shave. Water is still warm...
XXX,
Lacey
Notes:
* posing, taking photos, editing pictures and then posting on the blog is very exciting but takes a lot of time. If i give myself quick satisfaction i cannot do the rest properly.
**if for no other reason, the sanitary pad in the panties is essential after i´ve fucked myself. A lot of lube trickles out afterwards.
